


All the Things. All of Them.

by Nara, Stripe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-09
Updated: 2011-04-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 19:41:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nara/pseuds/Nara, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stripe/pseuds/Stripe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of six-word Homestuck stories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> These are all six word stories, inspired by the classic prompt given to Ernest Hemingway to write a story in only six words. We ended up coming up with two pages of them, inspired by the update a few days ago, where Dave tells Terezi "I'm not a hero. Bro was. John is. I'm not." Those last six words were so perfect that it ended up prompting us to spend an hour and a half doing this. Enjoy!
> 
> (Have fun guessing the characters, too.)

Bro was, John is, I'm not.

Once a derp, always a derp.

My mother bronzed the vacuum cleaner.

My dreamself is dead – oh nooooo.

I will always have five computers!

And now I'm sober. honk. HONK.

Don't look at my mutant blood.

Both of my girlfriends have died.

All my irons? In the fire.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD

Red will always taste the best.

Wish I could fly. Walk, too.

Too late: to kiss, to kill.

Pesterchum open: Who is on now?

Am I that hard to love?

Troll romance: matesprit, kismesis, moirail, auspistice.

Troll romance: oh god, the quadrants.

Camaraderie of ironic rapping roof ninjas.

You can always die two times.

(Unless you're Sollux: then it's three.)

I would have been the Empress.

Being young is hard. Nobody understands.

Time is/was/will be irrelevant.

I'm Pupa Pan. Fly, pupa, fly!

Troll movies have really long titles.

Motherfucking miracles, man. They're motherfucking miracles.

I named my, uh, confidence Rufio.

Grimdark is totally a word now.

First dead, then robot, now goddess.

Alive, ghost, frog, robot, god tier.

My shipping wall is maintained purrfectly.

It's a mercy kill – bye, spidermom.

Why does he have those posters?

How do I live without you?

I wanted to make him stronger.

I warned you about those stairs!

Go feed your hell hound, Jade.

It is now time for… STRIFE

Just hanging out, doing bro things.

It's the best movie, I swear.

Never eat the mind honey. NEVER.

My respite block? Like your bedroom.

When you expect trauma, it's funny.

Wear your hood; it looks cooler.

Don't want dead Daves piling up.

Now captchcatalogue it in your sylladex.

The milk doesn't really do anything.

Send apple juice filled with pee.

I have all the luck now.

I'm the mayor of this town.

Your typing quirk is really AnNoYiNg.

Only one who's never died? Grimdark.

Hussie's OTP: John's chest/Jack's sword

I mean, seriously? They're only thirteen.

The land dwellers must die. Mostly.

Apparently, we have to get married.

Karkat is the worst artist. Ever.

Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. Yaoi.

Today is your wriggling day. Congrats.

Lose a game. Make a universe.

Cool kids only use broken swords.

Betty Crocker - John Egbert's biggest enemy.

When all else fails, just Abscond.

Do the windy thing. DO IT.

"[S]" equals an epic few minutes.

Zillyhoo: the most ridiculous hammer name.

Zillyhoo: the most EPIC hammer name.

Boonbucks? Hah! I have boon bonds.

PUT THE BUNNY IN THE BOX.

Handing out bunnies like an idiot.

Reenact scene from movie three times.

I'll talk when my robot explodes.

You're sleeping right now, aren't you?

Fedorafreak: the last man on earth

Oh hell yes. Hell. Fucking. YES.

You just created an unbeatable boss.

There is no magic: Just science.

Interspecies sloppy makeout session starts now.

Bucket on your head? Sex toy.

 

Why does this control my life?


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we go yet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did more. Many of these were done by clicking to a random page in Homestuck and figuring out a six word story for it, so they can be a little obscure. Still, I maintain that this is a very fun writing exercise. I recommend it.

It’s breeding time – for frogs, anyways.

It’s hard to be fashion forward.

Squiddles say “Let’s be tangle buddies!”

Everything gets you off, doesn’t it?

AM I MOre polite now, boy?

Lips! Now I can say lips!

Don’t let me bleed to death.

Seventh conversation – who has the advantage?

The horseshitometer: lopsided in your favor!

Land of Dew and Glass = fishbowl?

Manipulation: God is now my tool.

“Wait, she has what!?” – Doc Scratch

Time to build a hell hound.

Two seers: “You hear it too?”

Spades Slick: You never went anywhere.

Can’t descend. Rope isn’t long enough.

Which card has the refrigerator, again?

Shittiest thing in apartment? Buster Sword.

A signal is conveniently left unsecured.

Who has time for GameFAQs? tentacleTherapist.

Stuck at home. It’s almost titular.

Get closer to the PDA, please?

Purple is less irrational than red.

I’m so proud of you, son.

Trusty knife = little red arm-swingy-dealy thing.

Midnight crew makes for great jazz.

The Felt are very, very green.

Midnight Crew identifies with playing cards.

Crosbytop – it can transcend multiple universes.

Doomed Dave deals with demonic Calsprite.

Even Doomed Dave is a BAMF.

Leaping over lava: let’s be alliterative.

Knight of Time; still too late.

Why are you wearing my sheets?

Look! I am a secret wizard!

She died to wake me up.

So who IS this guy, anyway?

Things are weird out of context.

Jetpack dragon wings: Your argument? Invalid.

Terezi: You’ll never be this cool.

Go to: Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory.

Dreamself dead. Not so happy, now.

Fairy god troll killed my grandfather.

Universe frog. Kept in an 8-ball.

Trapped in time by fairy girl.

Death, destruction, mayhem. I’m still bored.

Where did the blood come from?

Dave: Read paradox sister’s journal entries.

0_0 Wish that emoticon could smile.

I failed. Hope you can succeed.

You are quite done with dying.

She is no longer Schrödinger’s Cat.

Five are now Dead For Real.

Wish that I had Sollux’s girl.

Who the hell is this douchebag?


End file.
